A Bad Day and Giving Up

We went to Lekotek yesterday. It was just a time to play with toys, no expectations, child-led. She liked it for about fifteen minutes before wanting to leave. Leave the room, explore, try to get into offices and desks, computers. Screaming, throwing her body on the floor. So many toys she could have still been enjoying.

She can’t go places. We had to go home, couldn’t go to meet the speech therapist as planned.

I feel done. Actually done.

Done pursuing things that everyone says I must. Early intervention is a load of crap. She can’t do it, I can’t do it.

Maybe when she’s older. Late intervention, I guess.

 

4 thoughts on “A Bad Day and Giving Up

  1. You know, Valerie, I’ve been thinking of this post for the better part of the day. It’s been on my mind ever since I read it.

    I’m so very sad that things didn’t work out at Lekotek. It breaks my heart to read that you’re feeling done – that you don’t have the energy to continue pursuing all of these suggested interventions.

    But you know, despite the fact that the literature and specialists are all in favour of early intervention, perhaps Elizabeth isn’t developmentally ready for all of that yet. Perhaps it’s too much, too soon. And I think you need to listen to your gut feeling on this. Yours. Because you’re the Elizabeth specialist. You’re the one who knows her the best and also because if trying to make all of the appointments work for her ends up bringing you down, then nobody wins.

    I pray that whatever decision you make, you can find peace with it. And I pray that you will have the energy to continue fighting for her best interests even if it means postponing the different therapies that are recommended. I know Elizabeth is going to be the best version of what she can be at any given time because she has you looking out for her best interests.

    *Hugs*, Valerie

    Liked by 1 person

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