Caring for a child with autism is not always easy. Some children on the spectrum may be easier than others, depending on their needs, their age, their temperament but my experience has been that having a child with autism is HARD. And my mental health has taken a significant hit during this last year and a half. I’m seeing signs of depression in myself, recognizing that I’m having thoughts of hopelessness and giving up. I’m tired of feeling a lack of happiness when I still have so much in my life to be thankful for. Things have changed so much since her toddlerhood and I still haven’t adjusted.
Elizabeth has never been mild-mannered or calm. She is strong-willed, feisty, and full of vigor. She is BEAUTIFUL and AFFECTIONATE but she is also demanding and makes most situations challenging. She has made huge, HUGE progress in so many areas since January and I am beyond thankful. The screaming has all but stopped, praise the Lord! I know things are just going to keep getting better as she gets older. She’s going to do things I never thought she’d be able to. I KNOW this but I am tired. I am spent emotionally and mentally.
Stephen has encouraged me to make a list of my goals, which I initially didn’t think was a good idea (because I honestly have let all goals go) but now I’m coming around to it. I think it would help if I made some short-term and long-term goals. I just don’t want to disappoint myself.